HOW I CAN BE THIS STRONG?

Well today i'm gonna tell and answering some of my friends question.Aiceh bajet retis.Jawab kat blog *lipatkain gaya senah.Well ,the question  that i always got is :

Macam mana kau boleh kuat weyh lepas pisah?

Kau tak sayang dia ke?Macam tak je?

Kau ni relax je pisah ngan dia.Tak sedih pun"

Well now im gonna aswer this.

The only reason we SEPARATED *i'm using this word because i just feel we never breakup.just separated * is known ONLY BY US.ME AND HIM. takda orang yang tau.maybe ada yang tau but not the whole thing rite?So why i still stand stronger?

I am SAD.Really sad on the first day we separated.Cause he's part of my life.A year weyh.takkan tak rasa hilang.Of course i am.But i believe one thing,i means one GOOD things will happen next.Maybe he gonna meet someone that better than me.Everybody want people that they love happy and be treat better rite?So do me.If someone that he meet are better than me ,I'm so thankful.

Secondly,yes!I do meroyan on the night cause yela,there's no one special wish you like "good night sayang" or even say "iloveyou".YES!MEROYAN!*tepias muka sendiri.padanmuka.But, i just pretend that i'm good and i just say that "ouhh he sleep already". I kinda push him at first but then i realize that nothing gonna happen by pushing him.You love someone that you should give them time,space.

Third,i ask my friends.Yang belum kahwin and dah khwin or even yang ada pengalaman camni.Most of them say:

yang belum kahwin: sabar jela pain,no need to push him more,nothings gonna happen.if ada jodoh nanti u guys gonna meet back"

yang dah kahwin: Allah know better plan for both of you,you're strong.Guys dont like been push.Let thim cool.Guys sayang girl dorang,if thay really want,he gonna find you back"

yang berpengalaman : almost said "sabarlah,i know what u feel,........................*i dont remember

After i call him*last call,kononnya.We letting each other go secara baik and i just believe and pray he gonna make good grade in his degree.So basically,bukan aku HATI BATU ka,HATI KERAS ka,tapi keep praying to Allah supaya mintak dikuatkan hati,lembutkan jiwa.UNDERSTAND?

ingat meroyan dapat balik ke?tak kan?so?pandai2 fikir.nak meroyan tak guna,better move on and keep surviving for your life!

sapa kata tak rindu?mesti rindu weyh.tapi hangpa percaya jodoh kan?So,doa lah.

-FJ-

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FA COUTURE

HARI JUBAH *KONON MAT LUTFI

After 3year struggling,jatuh bangun tergolek,tidoq lambat,tidoq dalam kelas,failed test,repeat paper dan seangkatan dengan maka,saya anugerahkan diri saya sendiri NUR FARAHIN BT JAFRI DENGAN DIPLOMA PENGURUSAN PERNIAGAAN UITM!!! *gong berbunyi!

Finally,alhamdulilah.Habis gak diploma gua.Boleh kahwin dah pasni *isi borang kawin. HAHA.My big day happen on December 3,2012.So habislah zaman diploma gua.Best lah jugak sebab family ada,ehem2 ada cuma nenek takda.hmmm.Tapi aku yakin dia duk tengok dari atas sana.Si kekanda convo esoknya pulakkk. Bankin kan.Tapi im so lucky dapat enter the hall tengok live dia naik pentas.Jelly please .

4december 2012.

 Dan dianugerahkan Raja Rasydan Raja Rozhan dengan Diploma Pengurusan Bank! *goong buatan sendiri

 Congratulation D! You did well.*sebab dia dapat bintang cek takda bintang.Ciss. Tunggu degree pulak!Btw this is all worth after 3years weyhhh.And now focus on my Bachelor in Marketing at KB.Hopefully i did well.

AL-FATIHAH NENEK :'(

*Sapu habuk kiri kanan depan atas bawah blog

Finally jari gua rajin nak menaip semula.Jari gemuk tak sedor.Cait!Okay lets see what i have for this time.Ouhhh yes,pasal convocation day yang dah lama gila.Bunga pun dah layu please.Its my Diploma Convocation Day.But the sad is nenek was not around anymore.Nenek pass away one day right before my flight back to KL.couple of day before the convo.Malam tu i call along

me: "nenek mana?tido?

along: "aah tido penat agaknya chemo.

me:" takpalah aku nk balik dah rabu pagi '

the conversation end .

Esoknya,i wake up in the morning nak pi kelas QMT. Wani kata happynya pain.I answer it "mestilah esok pagi gua balik dulu weyhh.jumpa nenek aku lalala"

Masuk kelas duduk tggu lect masuk.ada incoming call "along".

me: " yo dah kenapa call pepagi"

along: *suara ketar2 " nenek dah takda ngah,nenek dah meninggal"

me : freez."kau gurau kan?kau jangan main2"

along : " betul tadi ayah yan check dah nadi sume skg tggu ibu balik.doc dah sahkan"

me : diam.air mata jatuh tak sedar.hp ntah kemana.lemah.layu.jatuh kat badan wani.

aku menangis sungguh2 kat wani.Wani tanya kenapa "nenek aku dah takda,nenek aku dah pi wani". Wani turut nangis.Aku rasa nk pitam.Rasa satu nyawa aku ditarik.Rasa satu benda hentam atas kepala.Aku keluar kelas menangis sampai terduduk.Tak hirau aku org lalu lalang.Miss aku pun trut keluar tgok kenapa.Aku book flight on the spot.Baliklah naik Firefly je paling awal.and betul rezeki stop at Subang.Dekatlah along nak amik.Sampai je.Aku peluk along.Aku nampak mata along bengkak teruk.

Sampai surau aku tgok semua orang berkerumun,arwah nak dikapankan.Aku hanya terduduk menangis.Maksu peluk aku dia kata "nenek dah takda ngah," aku teriak teruk rasanya sbb aku menyesal tak cakap ngan dia malam tadi.Dia tak sempat pi konvo aku.Ibu kata dia dah siapkan baju nk pi tgok convo angah katanya.Ya Allah,kuatkan aku.

Lepas semua settle,aku redha pemergian arwah tapi rasa janggal.Kadang2 tu aku cakap kat along "jom buat sup kegemaran nenek nak?along kata nenek dah takda ngah.Terdiam.Rasa hilang benda besar dalam hidup aku.Dia yang ajar aku ngaji,solat,agama.Dia dah pi.Dia pi senyap2 je takda cakap apa.Sepanjang dia sakit aku jaga takda ngadu sikit pun sakit.TAK PERNAH.

Nenek,tenanglah dikau disana,bersama para solihin.Semoga nenek ditempatkan dikalangan orang2 yang mulia disisi Allah SWT,Angah dah konvo nek.Angah ingat segala pesan nenek.Innalilahiwainilahirajiun.

AL-FATIHAH